Malay Wedding

Contrary to the western tradition, malay wedding is a four step system. They are merisik (asking ceremony), bertunang (engagement), akad nikah (the vow ceremony) and bersanding (where both the bride and her groom sit on the bridal couch)

Merisik
The man would ask his parents or his uncle to go and see the parents of the women he is interested to marry. A simple ring is given to the women's family. If the women accepts the ring it means the women has agreed to marry the man. If the women refuse to accept the man, the ring will be returned to the man's family.

Bertunang
The man would send his family to the bride's house to present her with the engagement ring and other gifts.

BUT nowadays people tend to merge the merisik and the bertunang ceremonies to save costs especially if the bride's and groom's hometown are far apart.

Akad Nikah
This is the day where the marriage vows take place. The ceremony is such that the groom would shake hand with the father of the bride or the Imam (the mosque head) to denote that the women is being married to the man. Then a wedding ring and mas kahwin is presented to the bride by the groom. Nowadays the mas kahwin is mainly in the form of money though it may be just a simple present that the groom must give to his bride. This is the ceremony where the bride and her groom is announced as husband and wife BUT there is no kissing ceremony like the western world.

Bersanding
According to Islam after the akad nikah both bride and groom are permitted to have sex and both man and women are presented with their individual responsibilities. But the Malays prefer the bersanding ceremony whereby both bride and groom would sit on a couch resembling the throne of a king. This is where it is made known to the whole world that they are married. Then there would be the "makan beradab" whereby both bride and groom eat with their parents and their in laws.

God willing inshaalah